Prognosis

I get so sick of telling the same story over and over again. Especially when its a story that upsets me every time I tell it. Sometimes its just easier to write a blog. I saw my oncologist last week to discuss whether the chemo I was on was working or if I should switch. I had bone scans and body scans and it was determined that the chemo I was taking wasn't working at all. My oncologist assured me that there are still plenty of chemo options and we would be starting an IV chemo the following day. There is still hope. She then asked me if I wanted to know the prognosis for my illness. I said that yeah, I guess so… maybe its better to know. She told me that likely I will last the few months to see the summer, she doesn't think there is any reason why I wouldn't live through the summer but she sort of caps me off at 6 months to 1 year. You know you often hear that question, "What would you do if you knew you had only 6 months to live?" and here I am and I have no idea what to do. What I want is to have longer than 6 months. I feel like I'm completely lost. I can't figure out what is up or down. I want to stay positive because that's half the battle but I hardly have the energy to do anything. I hate this. Its time to be serious and look into some other options I guess like treatment in Cuba for thousands of dollars or India because I'm running out of time and this chemo doesn't seem to be working. Anyway, got any ideas? I could really use em right about now.